Wednesday, August 8, 2012

#KBChat - Death by Whole Foods

In an earlier post I mentioned that I don't blog much because my life is heavily documented in other places.  I decided that what I could do is bring some of those more memorable tid bits here and share them with you [aka no one] to keep the highlights in one place.  You know, so they're easily accessible for my memoir.

I'll start with a Gmail chat between Byron and me.  We've come up with the term #KBChat when we're referring to our Gchats.  Trust me, there was a need.  Mostly because excerpts are sent to others in emails.  As in "this is from today's #KBChat"....just go with it.


4:11 PM me: Byron
  after work
  everything was out to destroy me
 Byron: haha
  oh no!
  when ice cream attacks
 me: no - ice cream was the only good part
4:12 PM Byron: he
  First Stop: Whole Foods
  (+) Almost missed the SLUT, but didn't - yay!
4:16 PM Byron: (yay)
 me: ( - ) Pesto Pasta from the salad bar, that USED to be everything I ever wanted in cold pesto pasta has been changed.
Is now pesto pasta salad...with peppers, and mayonnaise
  Is death
4:17 PM Dinner plan has vanished at the beginning of a long line of errands
  (oh - I went to the rack first, which took 30 minutes longer than planned...silly jewelry - so am already WAY behind schedule)
  Blood sugar plummets - am wandering around Whole Foods trying to not have a nervous breakdown
4:18 PM Byron: :/
 me: angrily eat some mac & cheese
 Byron: haha
 me: get even angrier at the $@#$@^ lack of Diet Coke options
  realized I hadn't had diet coke since lunch at me-hi-co
  blood sugar low + caffeine low = DyingKat
 Byron: :(
4:19 PM me: mac & cheese gives me enough focus to buy what I needed at Whole Foods...well, half of what I needed
  Grow angry at Whole Foods not having all two items on my list
  realize I should eat more food
4:20 PM get small scoop of mashed potatoes and 1 chicken strip from hot food section
  is almost $10
  realize that between mac & cheese, potatoes and chicken
  this non-dinner is not only NOT what I wanted to eat
  but also cost more than lunch
  which included magical chips
  and ALLtheDietCoke
4:21 PM (still have not had anything to drink at this point)
  Stumble out of Whole Foods vowing to NEVER GO THERE AGAIN
 Byron: im not sure i understand how you didn't just die right there at the grocery store
 Byron: :(
4:22 PM me: go to Bed, Bath & Beyond....find...almost everything I need....but am still suffering from lack of focus...
like...put my stuff down and am running back and forth at the giant utensil wall (wall is giant....not the utensils)
  Oh - they're right in front of me
  buy things, leave store
4:23 PM Oh - left phone in store
  go back
  crawl to downtown cupcake royale
  eat ice cream with the angels
4:24 PM Byron: hahaha
  oh jeez
 me: realize last downtown errand will probably not happen as it's after 8pm and the store is probably closed
  run for bus
  9pm get home
  inhale life source (Diet Coke)
  sit on chair in the dark
4:25 PM Byron: haha aw

6 minutes
4:31 PM me: realize I still need to go to the grocery store
  Walk into grocery store and through the produce "LIVE IS SO MUCH BETTER ON CAFFEINE - YAAAAAAAY!!!"
  * "WHY IS THERE NO MILK!?!?!?!" *
 Byron: hahaha\
4:32 PM me: WHERE IS THE MILK!?!?!?
 Byron: ...are you asking me right now? or was this last night?
 me: (I called my dad every time a store tried to kill me - by the time I was at the grocery store, he was just laughing at me)
 Byron: haha
  oh dear
4:33 PM why do you call him? do you expect he will magically fix the grocery store?
 me: turns out...they had more another spot
 Byron: ...
 me: they also didn't have something else I needed
  which prompted a 10 minute call to my dad
  "what do I do instead?!"
  thought I was doing better because of the caffeine
  today I realized
4:34 PM hey, I didn't unpack xxx last night - I could've SWORN I bought some...
  Check receipt....not on receipt....
  was it in the cart?
  did I not pay for it...AND leave it in the cart when i went to the car?
  Is the item still in the cart?
4:35 PM When I was at Whole Foods
  I sent Sara the following text:
  Whole Foods is destroying my soul. I hate everyone and everything
4:36 PM She told me to think happy thoughts and fight off the dementors
4:37 PM Byron: ...
 me: It was really bad in wholefoods
4:38 PM Byron: do you need a hug?
4:39 PM me: Oh, I'm fine today
  Really it was the change of dinner plans on top of the no caffeine
  it was poor planning
4:40 PM Byron: tsk tsk
 me: well
4:41 PM I do blame Whole Foods too though
  who tf puts mayonnaise in the pesto pasta?


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