#KBChat - Death by Whole Foods

In an earlier post I mentioned that I don't blog much because my life is heavily documented in other places.  I decided that what I could do is bring some of those more memorable tid bits here and share them with you [aka no one] to keep the highlights in one place.  You know, so they're easily accessible for my memoir.

I'll start with a Gmail chat between Byron and me.  We've come up with the term #KBChat when we're referring to our Gchats.  Trust me, there was a need.  Mostly because excerpts are sent to others in emails.  As in "this is from today's #KBChat"....just go with it.

Enjoy...

4:11 PM me: Byron

  

  yesterday

  after work

  everything was out to destroy me

 Byron: haha

  oh no!

  when ice cream attacks

 me: no - ice cream was the only good part

4:12 PM Byron: he

  hehe

  

  Yesterday

  First Stop: Whole Foods

  (+) Almost missed the SLUT, but didn't - yay!

4:16 PM Byron: (yay)

 me: ( - ) Pesto Pasta from the salad bar, that USED to be everything I ever wanted in cold pesto pasta has been changed.
Is now pesto pasta salad...with peppers, and mayonnaise

  Is death

4:17 PM Dinner plan has vanished at the beginning of a long line of errands

  (oh - I went to the rack first, which took 30 minutes longer than planned...silly jewelry - so am already WAY behind schedule)

  Blood sugar plummets - am wandering around Whole Foods trying to not have a nervous breakdown

4:18 PM Byron: :/

 me: angrily eat some mac & cheese

 Byron: haha

  GRRRR

 me: get even angrier at the $@#$@^ lack of Diet Coke options

  realized I hadn't had diet coke since lunch at me-hi-co

  blood sugar low + caffeine low = DyingKat

 Byron: :(

4:19 PM me: mac & cheese gives me enough focus to buy what I needed at Whole Foods...well, half of what I needed

  Grow angry at Whole Foods not having all two items on my list

  realize I should eat more food

  

4:20 PM get small scoop of mashed potatoes and 1 chicken strip from hot food section

  is almost $10

  realize that between mac & cheese, potatoes and chicken

  this non-dinner is not only NOT what I wanted to eat

  but also cost more than lunch

  which included magical chips

  and ALLtheDietCoke

4:21 PM (still have not had anything to drink at this point)

  Stumble out of Whole Foods vowing to NEVER GO THERE AGAIN

 Byron: im not sure i understand how you didn't just die right there at the grocery store

 me: I ALMOST DID

 Byron: :(

  (haha)

4:22 PM me: go to Bed, Bath & Beyond....find...almost everything I need....but am still suffering from lack of focus...
like...put my stuff down and am running back and forth at the giant utensil wall (wall is giant....not the utensils)

  WHERE ARE THE GRATERS!!?!?!?!

  WHERE ARE THE GRATERS!!?!?!?!

  Oh - they're right in front of me

  buy things, leave store

4:23 PM Oh - left phone in store

  go back

  crawl to downtown cupcake royale

  eat ice cream with the angels

4:24 PM Byron: hahaha

  oh jeez

 me: realize last downtown errand will probably not happen as it's after 8pm and the store is probably closed

  run for bus

  9pm get home

  inhale life source (Diet Coke)

  sit on chair in the dark

4:25 PM Byron: haha aw

6 minutes

4:31 PM me: realize I still need to go to the grocery store

  Walk into grocery store and through the produce "LIVE IS SO MUCH BETTER ON CAFFEINE - YAAAAAAAY!!!"

  ............................

.............................................

  * "WHY IS THERE NO MILK!?!?!?!" *

 Byron: hahaha\

4:32 PM me: WHERE IS THE MILK!?!?!?

  DAD!!!! HOW CAN THEY BE OUT OF MILK?

 Byron: ...are you asking me right now? or was this last night?

 me: (I called my dad every time a store tried to kill me - by the time I was at the grocery store, he was just laughing at me)

 Byron: haha

  oh dear

4:33 PM why do you call him? do you expect he will magically fix the grocery store?

 me: turns out...they had more milk....in another spot

  yes

 Byron: ...

  ohisee

 me: they also didn't have something else I needed

  which prompted a 10 minute call to my dad

  "what do I do instead?!"

  I thought I was doing better because of the caffeine

  but...

  today I realized

4:34 PM hey, I didn't unpack xxx last night - I could've SWORN I bought some...

  Check receipt....not on receipt....

  was it in the cart?

  did I not pay for it...AND leave it in the cart when i went to the car?

  Is the item still in the cart?

4:35 PM When I was at Whole Foods

  I sent Sara the following text:

  Whole Foods is destroying my soul. I hate everyone and everything

4:36 PM She told me to think happy thoughts and fight off the dementors

4:37 PM Byron: ...

  wow

 me: It was really bad in wholefoods

4:38 PM Byron: do you need a hug?

  :(

4:39 PM me: Oh, I'm fine today

  Really it was the change of dinner plans on top of the no caffeine

  it was poor planning

  #LogistiKatFail

4:40 PM Byron: tsk tsk

 me: well

4:41 PM I do blame Whole Foods too though

  who tf puts mayonnaise in the pesto pasta?